It was only earlier this year that I completed my second course on counselling and I was taking a moment to reflect today and one thing popped into my head; thoughts aren't facts. This should not be revelation, it is merely a statement of facts but it is something that I forget all the time. It is so easy to let my mind run away with itself, creating story lines and conclusions that haven't happened yet and may not ever. Yet I'll let myself get so worried or wound up about such thoughts, creating unnecessary stress for myself and for those that get wind of what I'm letting churn up in my stomach. Whether its to do with my health and the doctors or social situations, it is something that can create a level of annoyance and anxiety that's enough to drive anyone nuts.
I've noticed how stress can manifest itself in such physical ways. It can lead to headaches, feeling sick and lack of appetite. Having MS, it can mean altered vision, loss or reduced feeling in hands or feet or sharp shooting pains. Whatever it is, it's not good and that's your body giving you signs to calm down. Easier said than done mind, but it's about finding that balance between knowing what you're in control of and what you need to realistically worry about and when.
For me, I've had to conquer negative thoughts one by one and it's not always easy or simple. But I'm getting to grips with trying think rationally about how just because something could turn out ten different ways, doesn't mean it will or has yet. Especially when it comes to seeing doctors. I suppose the way my diagnosis came about hasn't really left me particularly trusting of the medical community but that doesn't mean every professional will let me down. It also doesn't mean that the worst is about to happen just because I don't have an answer immediately and equally, that doesn't mean something can't come out of the experience. What if this and what if that are all rumours running around our heads and so much time can be wasted dealing with fabricated notions of potential situations and how they may occur. Whether that is interpreting how someone spoke to you in the office or trying to forecast how making a certain decision may pan out, you can spend the best part of your sleeping hours letting yourself get wound up and upset over things that you may or may not have control of.
Looking at CBT techniques has helped me in processing thoughts and analysing how constructive it may be to think a certain way. Check out the diagram below and I'll explain it. I use this on myself and have even shown it to children:
The main message I'm trying to give here is don't be consumed by the rumours and negative thoughts. There is always a healthier way to think, even in the face of a bad situation. Taking one step at a time and facing things as they come is the best way forward, so keep on fighting, there is always more good to come.
I've noticed how stress can manifest itself in such physical ways. It can lead to headaches, feeling sick and lack of appetite. Having MS, it can mean altered vision, loss or reduced feeling in hands or feet or sharp shooting pains. Whatever it is, it's not good and that's your body giving you signs to calm down. Easier said than done mind, but it's about finding that balance between knowing what you're in control of and what you need to realistically worry about and when.
For me, I've had to conquer negative thoughts one by one and it's not always easy or simple. But I'm getting to grips with trying think rationally about how just because something could turn out ten different ways, doesn't mean it will or has yet. Especially when it comes to seeing doctors. I suppose the way my diagnosis came about hasn't really left me particularly trusting of the medical community but that doesn't mean every professional will let me down. It also doesn't mean that the worst is about to happen just because I don't have an answer immediately and equally, that doesn't mean something can't come out of the experience. What if this and what if that are all rumours running around our heads and so much time can be wasted dealing with fabricated notions of potential situations and how they may occur. Whether that is interpreting how someone spoke to you in the office or trying to forecast how making a certain decision may pan out, you can spend the best part of your sleeping hours letting yourself get wound up and upset over things that you may or may not have control of.
Looking at CBT techniques has helped me in processing thoughts and analysing how constructive it may be to think a certain way. Check out the diagram below and I'll explain it. I use this on myself and have even shown it to children:
This diagram is from centrallondoncbt.co.uk. Basically starting from the top, thoughts can be anything that pops into my head; "I can't do this" and "I'm stupid" probably being the nation's favourite (also known as automatic negative thoughts). So I'll give you an example. For me it may be something like 'The doctor couldn't explain my blood results to me, it must be bad'. Now, that can lead to an emotion; I may feel upset or sad or worried that it could be something terrible, which will in turn lead to behaviours such as moping, lounging about, checking my phone for a callback from my nurse or doctor and so it feeds back into the original thought, creating a negative cycle. Now if I change my response to the thought, it could pan out differently. I could instead shrug it off and feel relaxed as I haven't been given particularly bad news, it may not ever be bad news and therefore my behaviour could be more positive, I'll go out and continue my day and book another doctors appointment so we can look into if further. The second response is the most constructive of the two. You can use this cycle for any thought and can even change the initial thought to something more positive to look at what the more healthy and realistic outcome may be.
The main message I'm trying to give here is don't be consumed by the rumours and negative thoughts. There is always a healthier way to think, even in the face of a bad situation. Taking one step at a time and facing things as they come is the best way forward, so keep on fighting, there is always more good to come.
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