Trail Of Light.

New Year, new you? Happy new year and I hope the holidays were somewhat restful and fun. If they weren’t, I hope the start of this year is better and you find strength to keep going. So, I’m going to cut straight to the chase with all this new year’s resolution malarkey; I don’t believe in it. What I do believe in is making change whenever you want because, well, you can if you really want to. I guess starting at the beginning of a year is symbolic and that can be the driving factor for a lot of us to review where we are and decide where to progress. But, it’s when everyone’s gym regimes and sugar-free months flake half way through the greyness of January that we start a cycle of negative self-talk and reinforce this notion that we are completely and utterly useless. Is that the case because we failed to keep a promise to ourselves in January? Well, no. Does it mean we cannot develop ourselves and are complete failures and good-for-nothing? It would be a real disse

I think I am going to just take the time to write a little about appreciation this post. I’ve been wearing down a little thin more recently, with patience waning and my temper becoming shorter and shorter (almost shorter than these wintery days). I feel like a lot of things are getting to me and though I have come to terms with the fact the life is fundamentally unfair, I can’t say that there aren’t frequent irritations that occur, as they do for us all. Politics has been a bit of a drag recently and has caused a huge amount of suppressed bile to rise from the sewers (that was a great metaphor, well done me -> self-compassion during angry feelings, gold star). There has been a lot of hate around, a lot of fear, words spoken out of turn and actions that are much worse than that. So now, more than ever is a time for appreciation. It is a wonderful happening that we are all so different, that we view things in different ways and can have such a huge impact on the world aroun

Hi everyone! It's been a little while so I thought I'd check in and give you an update...from my sickbed. BUT not Lemtrada related, I promise. Actually, I think so far that's actually been going brilliantly. The most noticeable difference would be the change in frequency of experiencing fatigue. I'd say the intensity and how often it happens has really improved (fingers crossed), though as the days grow shorter, I do become sleepier sooner, but that's still pretty good for me so I'll take it. I've caught a bit of a cold as of late and a tummy bug, but I think that is just what's going round and as I work at a school, it wouldn't be unheard of. Loads of germs flying around will eventually equate to some suffering, but I genuinely wouldn't put that down to Lemtrada. What I will say is that with a rising temperature or a really rough episode during catching a bug, I have felt incredibly weak and like I have been on the brink of relapse. So fa

It's been two weeks since I came out of treatment after having five days of Lemtrada. So, how do I feel? What have I been up to? I'll tell you. I would say that the for the first week after the treatment, I was a bit touch and go and playing things by ear. Most nights I would wake up with a headache and felt like I had been to a party that I, unfortunately, had no recollection of. I would wake up with what most would describe as a hangover, but without the good time, in-jokes or banterous tales to tell. What the infusion nurses had warned me of (but consultant had thought unnecessary to mention...??!) was that I may experience an exacerbation of previous relapse symptoms I may have suffered previously. For me, this meant deep pains in my back and neck, but do you know what, I'll take that over a completely new relapse or further damage. Practicing mindful meditations for pain leading up to treatment meant that I could put what I had learnt to the test, finding a self-co

So, hi guys. It is me having risen from 12 hours of sleep (post 2 hours nap). I was intending to blog yesterday after I finished the last of Lem but I was too tired. I mean, in my bones, shaky eyeballs tired. I'm still tired today but feeling more human and I'll take the tiredness over the rash and nausea any day. I would say over all that I've coped better than I anticipated and I will take a moment to pat myself on the back here. I didn't even cry when I wanted to throw up my guts as the lovely nurse had to repuncture a bruise to get into my non-cooperative veins. My arms do officially look like battered peaches and weigh as much as lead but on the plus side, this treatment could change my life. Aaahh it almost seems crazy optimistic to say this out loud, but it really could!  I'd like to take a minute to gush about the company I was in for about an hour or so of my treatment yesterday. These heroes come in monthly for their Tysabri infusions and are just

Day 4: ooooh this is a rougher ride today but I'll take it because it's taken 4 days to show rather than on day 1. I woke up this morning with a raging, blistery rash. I've never seen anything like it, but apparently that means it's working. Once I got to Southampton, they gave me some anti-histamine which brought it down a little. The joys of three hours on the clock. Reading a good book definitely helped to pass the time. But today, it wasn't going to sidle off unnoticed and behave. It began to rage again a few hours later and I had to really wait without scratching myself into ribbons. To say I was on fire would be an understatement and it has required real self-control not to paw away at myself. No, I was not thrown into a nettle bush and no, this will not feature in high street fashion next season. It was a shorter session without the steroids, but I didn't realise quite how much they were doing for me. On completing treatme

Hello,  I know it's been a little while. Truthfully I've kind of been distracting myself from anything MS related because I've been so nervous about coming on Lemtrada. I'm on day 3 now and I'm really tired so I'll keep it short and sweet and give you a little update. My nerves were really getting the better of me this time last week. I was feeling sick with trepidation and just thinking "God, what if this is the worst thing you could be walking into". Well, how are any of us supposed to know, unless we just do it and who said it would it be?  I didn't think I would smile this week. But I've smiled and actually my spirits have been really high. I've had lovely people checking in on me, my mum and sister by my side throughout the infusion and, I would say (touch woodp) minimal discomfort, minus my dislike of cannulas. The days have been long. With an 830am start at the hospital after a 45 minute drive to the hospital, it's an ear