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As The Leaves Turn...

Hi everyone!
It's been a little while so I thought I'd check in and give you an update...from my sickbed. BUT not Lemtrada related, I promise. Actually, I think so far that's actually been going brilliantly. The most noticeable difference would be the change in frequency of experiencing fatigue. I'd say the intensity and how often it happens has really improved (fingers crossed), though as the days grow shorter, I do become sleepier sooner, but that's still pretty good for me so I'll take it.

I've caught a bit of a cold as of late and a tummy bug, but I think that is just what's going round and as I work at a school, it wouldn't be unheard of. Loads of germs flying around will eventually equate to some suffering, but I genuinely wouldn't put that down to Lemtrada. What I will say is that with a rising temperature or a really rough episode during catching a bug, I have felt incredibly weak and like I have been on the brink of relapse. So far, this has gone almost as quickly as it appeared but my goodness has it felt scary. My initial relapse symptoms were visual and made it incredibly hard to process movement alongside other stimuli. Sometimes, that's occurred with a sniffle or when I'm worn out, but over the weekend I really did think I'd be heading back down that slippery slope.

The funny thing is, I've spent two years now processing all of this so that in the event of an inevitable relapse one day, it wouldn't emotionally hit me so hard and I'd, to some extent, be able to control my cognitive processes in order to talk myself down and recover more quickly. I found myself getting incredibly upset (bearing in mind that I haven't actually relapsed, just having funny turns with my vision) and getting caught up in the negative self-talk that can drag down the best of us. What that made me realise was that this isn't just about learning CBT techniques and mindfulness and getting handy with it, it's about self-compassion. I've said it to myself time and time again to get in top of it, but I shouldn't be beating myself up to be kinder to myself. Contradictory statement or what?!


I am ever a work in progress and, all things considered, things are going pretty well right now. My lymphocytes are low but are steadily climbing, which is where they should be at right now. I'm good with my food so that helps. I've been keeping up with yoga which has been a total godsend (don't knock it 'til you try it) and it has really helped with pain management and soothing my nervous system. Thanks to God, I think I'm doing just fine and hopefully once I see this bug through, I'll be back to my normal self.



 A little photo of the ginger tea I've been sipping to get me back on track. Check out my daily mindfulness page on instagram @trail.of.light





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