Here Comes the Sun

Finally, the sun has appeared and this seems to be having a real impact on my mood. I feel a lot more upbeat, though I’m still fighting the fatigue, but God it is so much easier to do this when it is so beautiful outside. I’m finding every opportunity to go outside, walk and surround myself in green and I hope that this sun will hold out during my treatment as I think it’ll really help keep me going. I am SO going to rope everyone into taking me on walks (albeit potentially short ones) and keep me entertained. My sisters are taking some time out to keep me busy during my Lemtrada treatment (I’ve heard it can take anything between 6-8 hours depending on your tolerance) and I believe my fiancé may be coming down to keep me company and grace me with his deadpan sarcasm and pedantic  banter (love you really. Joking. Not joking heehee). It’s really cool that my family are going to be hanging out with me and from a psychological angle, it’s going to make me feel so much better in myself, though physically it’s going to be rough. I’ll get through it with a more positive outlook and generally speaking, I’m not really feeling too anxious about it right now. I mean, I’m a bit nervous but I’m really settling into the mind set of why waste time worrying about things that haven’t happened.

Ramadan is round the corner, about a month away now. For those of who don’t know, Ramadan is a holy month for those who follow the Muslim faith. It is a time of reflection and appreciation of the blessings you have and a time to give charity and fast. Fasting lasts from sunrise to sunset and, during the summer, this can be a period of up to 18 hours in the UK without food or water. The point is not to starve yourself or wait ‘til you pass out for the sake Allah (we aren’t crazy, though many will disagree), no no; it’s about realising all the blessings you have and taking the time out to better yourself as a human being. Fasting isn’t just about abstaining from food and water, but actually also about doing your best to be a better person; cutting out swearing, avoiding negativity, being more charitable and being kind to others. I’ll bet you’re possibly wondering how fasting is going to fit in with taking medication and suffering with MS symptoms; well here’s the thing, you don’t have to fast if you suffer with an illness or feel too weak to, if you’re pregnant or menstruating or of very young or old age.

Come June, I need to find another way to rack in the blessings and brownie points that come with this month for Muslims. For me, it is a really emotive and spiritual time and I’m actually so gutted that I’m not fasting from food and water because I miss out on that bit. It may sound like a bizarre thing to say but the sense of community and that feeling of achievement when you get to sit with friends and family at the end of the day and eat together is a beautiful thing. Food tastes better, you realise how much you take it for granted and it’s a really reflective time when you realise just how lucky you are. Especially when you look at the state of what’s going on with the refugee crisis, there are people without food, water and shelter living life daily, suffering illness and loss of their family and that’s a massive pain to bear for any person. On top of that, there will be many of those people still attempting to fast this year despite all the hardship they’ve faced and if they can do it, so can anyone out there living a stable life; for that alone, we are fortunate.

So, I’m going to have to get over that part but here’s what I’m going to do instead. I want to work on being a kinder person, to myself and others. In particular, I can be quite snappy with those close to me and my patience wears thin. If Ramadan is about one thing, it’s about patience. I want to work on that big time alongside continuing a regular exercise regime to look after my body. Muslims believe that their bodies belong to God, so I better look after it by keeping strong, particularly leading up to pre-Lemtrada. On the flip side of that, I want to work on sleep and cut out tech 2 hours before bed to give me a more sound night’s rest. In Islam, during Ramadan sleep is deemed as a form of worship as you are taking the time out to look after yourself and rest to maintain your fast! Just brilliant! I definitely won’t be able to be grumpy with someone or say things I shouldn’t if I’m asleep. Most of the time I’m looking at things I won’t remember later anyway, so instead, I want to explore more poetry and literature to give my brain a bit of a workout and hopefully learn something new. I want to learn some new prayers and Ayahs from the Quran, which isn’t only going to enhance my personal religious understanding, but stretch my brain too in terms of memory and build up some new connections. Basically I hope to give myself a month of greater brain training and self-love, rather than feeling down about not fasting.

Fundamentally Ramadan is a month of self-development and that could apply to anyone regardless of religion. No one needs a specific month of the year to do it, but how often do we stop to think about what we can do to better ourselves and actually do it. You don’t have to be Muslim to stop and think about “what can I do to look after myself better” or “I want to learn something new”. We all can, whenever we want and the important to thing is remember is what we have is now. We don’t get now back and every moment is precious and valuable. Figure out what you can do right now to challenge yourself, to grow or to utilise your time. It may just be the best thing you do.