As we all get back to routine after balmy long summer days of peach sunsets, it's easy to end up getting bogged down being back at work. For me, it's hard not to get down about the end of summer, I wait for it all year. After all, days are longer, the necessity for a billion layers no longer stands and watermelon and ice cream is all that is on the agenda. To say I spend to time looking back at summer snapshots and basking in the nostalgia of vaguely warm weather would be an understatement. The question to be asked here, is what to do when getting back into routine of working stresses and keep myself healthy and happy?
Well here's the thing, I did a series of amazing workshops at work around mindfulness and resilience and how we can keep our "bags light" when we seem to be going uphill. It changed my perspective on how well I actually look after myself and what I do in terms of emotional/mental self-care. With the busy lives we lead and days drawing to a shorter close, it is no wonder that people tend to suffer with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and feel low heading towards the chilly nights. It's really important for me to do things to keep me positive and on my toes for the next challenge. I'm not saying a good mood keeps relapse away, but the less stress I place on my body, the less a potential relapse could effect me. I think I actually learnt this after a series of relapses back at the beginning of this year. I had a little mental conversation with myself as I was at a particularly low point. "This could last forever" I thought quite frequently to myself. But the turning point for was this: "Say it does last forever, are you really going to waste more time here, sat moping around or are you going to get up and do things the best you can and make the most of it? Things could always be worse right now and you don't know it won't get better, so stop being so down in the dumps and get on with it".
You can see I am a fan of tough love towards myself. It's a work in progress.
At the time I was studying and one of my colleagues knew what I was going through. He passed me over a book (Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World, Mark Williams and Danny Penman) and he said to me, "When you reach week eight, you'll know why I gave this to you". He was so right and I will be eternally grateful for the eye opening experience of reading this book. As a novice when it comes to mindfulness and the concepts of 'self-help' books, I would say I was a little sceptical at first. The book entails reading a small chapter weekly, and learning to create a new positive habit and a daily meditation (as short as 3 minutes, not as daunting as considering the stereotypical image of an hour-long affair), forcing you to stop, though you may feel you must plough on and sit in the moment and literally focus on the here and now. This may not sound all that profound, but after finishing off this book and doing some further reading inspired by my job and amazing people I have met, I can safely say with no hesitation that it has changed my outlook on life and how I deal with stresses that I worry about needlessly, but can't actually do anything about. I can spend hours letting the rumour mill of my mind churn over all the what-ifs and different versions of events that I can miraculously produce in seconds, but other than leaving me feeling terrible, what good does it do? It makes any symptoms I have feel worse and I feel sad and lousy. No good.
It's still hard sometimes and I can't say I'm always a beaming beacon of positivity 24/7, but actually sitting with your mind and looking at what is realistic up in there and what is just plain mean makes a real difference. Since diagnosis, I am more grateful for anything I have and for the good days and for the bad days that they aren't any worse. I feel like this isn't just about having MS or a health condition, it's about having some mercy towards ourselves and how we treat ourselves in our daily lives. We've only got one life, so instead of beating myself up, I'm going to live it. How about you?
Further Reading
Wouldn't say this is to replace other therapeutic methods, but CBT is a great way to challenge negative thinking and question the ideas we may have about ourselves. You can find these books on Amazon.
Cognitive behavioural Therapy For Dummies by Rhena Branch and Rob Wilson
This website is so so amazing once you understand CBT techniques http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm
Try self.compassion,org by Dr Kristen Neff. I studied her work throughout University but only realised the value of her work once I had left.
Her book: Self Compassion, Kristen Neff
Well here's the thing, I did a series of amazing workshops at work around mindfulness and resilience and how we can keep our "bags light" when we seem to be going uphill. It changed my perspective on how well I actually look after myself and what I do in terms of emotional/mental self-care. With the busy lives we lead and days drawing to a shorter close, it is no wonder that people tend to suffer with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and feel low heading towards the chilly nights. It's really important for me to do things to keep me positive and on my toes for the next challenge. I'm not saying a good mood keeps relapse away, but the less stress I place on my body, the less a potential relapse could effect me. I think I actually learnt this after a series of relapses back at the beginning of this year. I had a little mental conversation with myself as I was at a particularly low point. "This could last forever" I thought quite frequently to myself. But the turning point for was this: "Say it does last forever, are you really going to waste more time here, sat moping around or are you going to get up and do things the best you can and make the most of it? Things could always be worse right now and you don't know it won't get better, so stop being so down in the dumps and get on with it".
You can see I am a fan of tough love towards myself. It's a work in progress.
At the time I was studying and one of my colleagues knew what I was going through. He passed me over a book (Mindfulness: Finding Peace in a Frantic World, Mark Williams and Danny Penman) and he said to me, "When you reach week eight, you'll know why I gave this to you". He was so right and I will be eternally grateful for the eye opening experience of reading this book. As a novice when it comes to mindfulness and the concepts of 'self-help' books, I would say I was a little sceptical at first. The book entails reading a small chapter weekly, and learning to create a new positive habit and a daily meditation (as short as 3 minutes, not as daunting as considering the stereotypical image of an hour-long affair), forcing you to stop, though you may feel you must plough on and sit in the moment and literally focus on the here and now. This may not sound all that profound, but after finishing off this book and doing some further reading inspired by my job and amazing people I have met, I can safely say with no hesitation that it has changed my outlook on life and how I deal with stresses that I worry about needlessly, but can't actually do anything about. I can spend hours letting the rumour mill of my mind churn over all the what-ifs and different versions of events that I can miraculously produce in seconds, but other than leaving me feeling terrible, what good does it do? It makes any symptoms I have feel worse and I feel sad and lousy. No good.
It's still hard sometimes and I can't say I'm always a beaming beacon of positivity 24/7, but actually sitting with your mind and looking at what is realistic up in there and what is just plain mean makes a real difference. Since diagnosis, I am more grateful for anything I have and for the good days and for the bad days that they aren't any worse. I feel like this isn't just about having MS or a health condition, it's about having some mercy towards ourselves and how we treat ourselves in our daily lives. We've only got one life, so instead of beating myself up, I'm going to live it. How about you?
Further Reading
Wouldn't say this is to replace other therapeutic methods, but CBT is a great way to challenge negative thinking and question the ideas we may have about ourselves. You can find these books on Amazon.
Cognitive behavioural Therapy For Dummies by Rhena Branch and Rob Wilson
This website is so so amazing once you understand CBT techniques http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm
Try self.compassion,org by Dr Kristen Neff. I studied her work throughout University but only realised the value of her work once I had left.
Her book: Self Compassion, Kristen Neff
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