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Under the Knife

Hello! How I’ve missed writing and how crazy this last month has been. So much has been happening globally, as well as personally. I’m not going to go there with the politics but all I’ll say is love and peace to all. On a personal level, I’d say it’s been a lot of juggling and coasting but hopefully things will calm down soon (well, because they are going to have to).

Where to start…firstly, I’ve spent time with my friends prepping for our other friend’s wedding. She may be on her honeymoon/just got back home as she reads this, and if that’sthe case, a big HELLO to you and I hope you had the best time ever. This was a lot of fun and loads of time and effort went into making the day absolutely spectacular. I think I speak for us all when I say, well done team and it was all worth it.
From there, it has pushed me into my own wedding planning and that has been hectic, though I think I’m doing well for time. With a lot of bookings made, hours spent on phone calls in breaks and between general daily life tasks, good progress has been made. We still have five months, but I wanted to get a chunk done before April, which leads me to my next point.

On a more MS related note, I haven’t heard much about how surgery effects relapse rate, other than it’s pretty risky. So, I’m putting it to the test. Not because I want to I must add, but because this procedure will right an underlying issue that has been ticking away in the background. I have hyperparathyroidism. What is that you may ask? Well, it’s a teeny gland that regulates your calcium and vitamin D levels and, when it decides to malfunction, it doesn’t process the calcium you intake properly. If you intake calcium, your vitamin D level in your blood drops. If you up your vitamin D (which MS suffers need to do as it keeps your immune system happy and prevents/reduces impact of relapse), your calcium level can soar as your parathyroid can’t process it properly.
Long-term effects of higher calcium levels in your blood include aching bones, hair loss and stroke. At the moment, it’s the aches that are getting me and alongside stress, make it so hard to sleep and get moving in the morning. 

So, you can see why I really want to get this surgery done. The main concern from the surgeon and my MS consultant are will the anaesthetic cause me to relapse and this is quite a high risk. I’m not bothered by the surgery itself, but let’s see what happens. I don’t know of anyone who has MS and has had surgery to turn to and ask about this, so I’m trying not to overthink it. So long as I keep myself calm, busy before and after and keep positive it’ll all pan out. I suppose I'm bracing myself for relapse should it happen, but I'm not going to let myself get cut up about it before it happens and if it happens at all. We all have our coping mechanisms, and I've realised your mind is your strongest weapon, and enemy if you let it be. 

I feel like stress and emotional control is probably most important in aiding recovery, and processing things as they unfold will help to get through. I want to work my hardest to make sure I don’t get stuck on where I think I should be in terms of my recovery and if I should relapse, to take it in my stride and be aware of how what my internal dialogue is with myself. Positivity isn’t always easy when it comes to these situations but I’m better practised than before and have a mental toolbox prepared for this endeavour. In the words of Stephen Hawking: “where there is life, there is hope”. Always. I've got my good books, I've got my pens and paper, and I have love. Alhamdullilah, thanks to God, so bring it on.

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